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A Jungian Business and Success coach, a highly-sensitive woman and an empath. A mother of two beautiful boys, and a serial entrepreneur.
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One Strategy to Improve Your Client Attraction

The Soulful Approach to Client Attraction: Nurturing Genuine Connections for Business Success
Are you an entrepreneur seeking to attract and retain clients in a soulful, aligned manner? Look no further than the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast where Kavita Melwani, a master certified success and business coach, shares invaluable insights to empower spiritually-led businesses in running purposeful and profitable enterprises.


In a recent episode, Kavita discussed a pressing question faced by many entrepreneurs – how to attract clients effectively. Through her extensive experience as an entrepreneur and coach, Kavita addressed the nuances of client attraction strategies, shedding light on the importance of genuine connections and nurturing relationships.


She emphasizes that while many entrepreneurs cite social media as their primary client attraction tool, the intricacies involved demand careful consideration. From choosing the right platform to posting frequency and content types, the social media approach requires a cohesive strategy tailored to your business’s authentic essence.


One specific strategy Kavita delves into is the direct message approach. She candidly examines the prevalent pitfalls of disingenuous outreach and highlights the need for authentic, value-driven connections. Drawing from her personal experiences, Kavita stresses the significance of building relationships founded on trust and alignment, rather than succumbing to transactional interactions.


A key takeaway from this enlightening episode is the need for a nurturing component in client attraction strategies. Kavita insightfully points out the often overlooked aspect of nurturing connections with past, current, and potential clients. This nurturing, genuine approach involves offering value, building trust, and genuinely seeking to contribute to others’ lives, all without the expectation of immediate returns.


Moreover, Kavita underlines the vital role of the energy and mindset that entrepreneurs bring to their client interactions. Drawing parallels to real-world scenarios, she contrasts the impact of pushy sales tactics with genuinely helpful and welcoming approaches. The lesson is clear – the energy and intent behind client interactions significantly influence the outcomes.


The podcast episode concludes with a powerful call-to-action for entrepreneurs to adopt these soulful, nurturing strategies and witness the transformative impact on their business results. The episode serves as a compelling reminder that successful client attraction goes beyond mere strategy – it involves tapping into genuine, empathetic connections and embodying an authentic, supportive presence in all interactions.


In essence, by prioritizing sincere, meaningful relationships over transactional pursuits, entrepreneurs can truly embody the soulful, purposeful approach to client attraction advocated by Kavita Melwani. With this invaluable guidance, entrepreneurs are empowered to rise up as the leaders they were born to be, shining their light confidently and opulently in the business world.


To explore more insightful discussions on soulful entrepreneurship and thriving in business with authenticity and purpose, tune in to the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast and embark on a transformative journey towards aligned, genuine success.

Key Topics of this Episode: One Strategy to Improve Your Client Attraction

Primary Topic: Importance of Having a Clearly Defined Client Attraction Strategy

  • The complexity of client attraction strategies
  • Nuances of attracting clients via social media
  • Different aspects of social media strategy to attract clients
  • Importance of authenticity in private messaging strategy
  • The impact of personal preferences on client attraction strategies
  • Nurturing connections and relationships in client attraction
    Primary Topic: Authentic and Genuine Client Attraction
  • Emphasis on authenticity in client attraction
  • Recognizing inauthentic and disingenuous strategies
  • The importance of nurturing genuine connections
  • Impact of personal energy and mindset on client attraction
  • Comparing authentic and inauthentic sales approaches
    Primary Topic: Building Genuine Relationships in Client Attraction
  • Importance of nurturing connections and relationships
  • Genuine support vs. seeking something from others
  • Impact of genuine energy in client interactions
  • Importance of genuine and helpful approach in client interactions
    If you have any further questions or need additional information, feel free to ask!

Analogy for This Episode: One Strategy to Improve Your Client Attraction

Imagine your marketing strategy is like baking a cake. You can’t just throw the ingredients together and hope for the best. Each ingredient represents a different aspect of your strategy, like the type of social media platform you use, the content you post, and the way you connect with people. Just as you carefully mix and measure the ingredients for a delicious cake, you need to carefully consider and tailor each aspect of your marketing strategy to create a compelling and authentic message.
But it’s not just about the ingredients; it’s also about how you bake the cake. Similarly, it’s not just about the marketing strategy but also about how you show up and nurture connections. Think of your energy and mindset as the heat that bakes the cake. If your energy is like a warm and welcoming oven, it will create a positive and inviting experience for your audience. But if your energy is like a rushed and impatient oven, it can leave your audience feeling uneasy and looking for the nearest exit. So, just as a well-baked cake depends on the right ingredients and the perfect temperature, a successful marketing strategy depends on the right elements and the positive energy you bring to it.

Transcript for This Episode:

Kavita Melwani [00:00:00]:
Hello.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:00]:
My name is Kavita Melwani and I’m.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:02]:
A master certified success and business coach with two decades of experience as an entrepreneur and almost a decade as a coach. I want to personally welcome you to the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast where my vision is to empower as many spiritually led businesses to run purposeful and profitable businesses aligned with true selves. I want you to confidently and opulently shine your light without the overwhelm, the stress or the burnout. Together, we will explore challenges that soulful entrepreneurs face and real, implementable solutions so you can step into your unique purpose and shine. It is possible to bridge the success you already have with the truest, soulful, mystical parts of yourself. Are you ready to rise up as.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:57]:
The leader you were born to be?

Kavita Melwani [00:00:59]:
Then join me, my soulful friends. The time is now for you to rise up and shine your light. The world needs you.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:08]:
Hello, soulful entrepreneurs. Welcome to this week’s episode.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:13]:
So people come to me and clients come to me all the time, and.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:19]:
Especially entrepreneurs with the question and the discussion about how to get clients right.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:27]:
And so it can be, sometimes when.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:29]:
I’m in a networking event, it can be like a sensitive topic that people kind of don’t want to ask directly.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:34]:
Because there may be a sense of they could be somewhat of a competitor or it’s kind of sheepish. You want to feel like you don’t.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:47]:
Know how to get clients. But really, I don’t think there’s anything.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:51]:
Wrong with learning from others and learning.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:53]:
New strategies and ways that you can attract clients to your business. The thing is, oftentimes when you ask people how they get clients, very few people have a clearly defined strategy. And when you really dive deeper into their strategy, there are a lot more.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:13]:
Layers than you can see.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:17]:
Okay, so let me give you some examples. So, for instance, if someone says that they use social media to attract their clients, that is a very nuanced strategy. There are so many aspects to attracting clients via social media. Do they, for instance, use Facebook, or do they use Instagram? Or do they use LinkedIn or they use TikTok? Do they use YouTube? What do they use first as their primary platform? Do they use more than one platform? And then you go on to saying, are you posting content on those platforms? And how often are you posting content? What type of content are you posting?

Kavita Melwani [00:03:02]:
And then beyond just posting content, what.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:06]:
Are the strategies that you are using? Are you using a direct message or private message strategy?

Kavita Melwani [00:03:14]:
Are you using a group?

Kavita Melwani [00:03:17]:
Like, do you have, for instance, a Facebook group? Do you go live. If you’re on Facebook, are you using your personal profile?

Kavita Melwani [00:03:25]:
Is your business page a type of business page that has you as a person or is it an actual company?

Kavita Melwani [00:03:36]:
Does it have your logo? What are the keywords you’re using in your social media profiles? And then how are you connecting with people if you’re messaging?

Kavita Melwani [00:03:45]:
Do you have a group on LinkedIn?

Kavita Melwani [00:03:49]:
Do you do events and how often.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:51]:
Do you do events and how much.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:52]:
Do you promote those events? If you do alive, do you promote the live? How much ahead of time? So do you see when somebody says something like, I use social media strategy? There are so many aspects to that. And then the other part of it is, for instance, I want to talk.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:10]:
About the direct message strategy a little bit.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:13]:
Okay.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:14]:
So there are a lot of coaches, business coaches, business strategists, I would say.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:19]:
More so than coaches out there that.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:23]:
Are teaching that private message strategy.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:26]:
One of them is to find people’s profiles and connect with them.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:31]:
That would be ideal clients. And then you nurture that connection through messaging them, unfortunately, and you’ve probably had the similar experience, a lot of it.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:43]:
Is very fake, okay.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:47]:
And as a person that is empathic and sensitive, I can sense and read.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:52]:
Through a lot of the times, the BS, okay. And it is very disheartening when people are just obviously reaching out and doing like a blanket reach out.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:06]:
And then there’s all the bots that do the reach out and then there’s the strategy. Are you taking on new clients? Tell me about your coaching business.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:19]:
And it’s something I’m working on and.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:22]:
Not being annoyed by this, right. Because that tells something about me and.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:26]:
I know that I don’t like to bother people.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:27]:
So that is a trigger for me. And on the other hand, I can.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:33]:
Tell you that I am not going.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:35]:
To purchase invest in coaching when someone reaches out to me that way. If, when I invest in a coaching relationship, it’s because I know that person or I can refer to them or I trust that person or I’ve been.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:52]:
Following them for a while. I do spend some time with their content. I get to know them, see if.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:59]:
Their way of doing business, their strategies, just how they operate, how they show up is in alignment with who I am. And there have been times where I.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:10]:
Invest in a coach and it comes.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:13]:
From the place of fear, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:06:15]:
So it’s like an investment of like, oh, this person’s going to help me overcome all the things that I’m afraid of or that part of me that most likely because most of the coaches I’ve hired are. She has all the parts of me that I don’t have, and oftentimes that’s not a good match. Whenever I’ve really checked into my intuition.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:37]:
And hired from that place and trusting myself and trusting how I feel with.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:42]:
Person, it’s always worked out in a positive way. Of course, hiring a coach has always.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:48]:
Helped me in some way, shape or.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:49]:
Form, but some have been better outcomes than others.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:52]:
Right?

Kavita Melwani [00:06:53]:
So this is the same thing with. So when you think about any strategy.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:59]:
This is how it relates to what.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:00]:
I was talking about, about the private messaging strategy. When you think about a strategy that someone is teaching, is that a strategy.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:09]:
That you would respond to as a client?

Kavita Melwani [00:07:13]:
Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:13]:
So ask yourself that.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:15]:
And if it is, maybe you like getting direct messages.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:19]:
I mean, I’m not going to make.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:20]:
That assumption for you, but I’ll tell.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:22]:
You that I don’t like that and that’s not my way.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:25]:
And when people continue to engage with.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:28]:
Messages in a way that feels very not genuine and inauthentic, that actually makes me not want to work with the person.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:37]:
Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:37]:
Versus if you have a conversation that’s.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:40]:
Actually authentic and really want to get.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:42]:
To know people, if you’re coming from the place of I want to get to know this person, this person seems interesting. Maybe they could or could not be a client, but then let me connect with them. The thing is, with that strategy, to really get to know a person, that takes some time and a lot of.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:00]:
People, unfortunately not everyone, okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:08:03]:
But a lot of people that are using this strategy are using bots or are using this kind of a can responses. And it’s a numbers game, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:08:13]:
So they’re not looking for deep connections and really wanting to build a relationship and inviting and giving something for free to the person instead of selling them your program.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:26]:
Okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:08:27]:
So if you want to connect with people using one of these strategies, think about how would you feel, how do you feel receiving messages? Would you feel better if you were.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:40]:
Given something of value, offered something of value, and then they nurture you through.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:47]:
Your other ways that you keep in touch. So when we are looking, going back to saying when we’re looking at how.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:56]:
A person is attracting clients, and even.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:58]:
If we ask them directly and they tell us there are lots of aspects to that that we don’t know, and then even when you’re looking at your marketing strategy, you want to be clear that you are looking at strategies that feel good to you. These are strategies that you would actually feel good doing. And if it’s something you want to try and you don’t feel good doing.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:21]:
Then working on why it doesn’t feel.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:24]:
Good to you, working on maybe the subconscious beliefs that are contributing to it, feeling not good or even the mindset and or the mindset about it.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:36]:
Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:36]:
And then approach it instead of just forcing the strategy. And so I want to offer something.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:44]:
That I see missing in most people’s.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:48]:
Marketing strategies that I speak to. Not all, of course, but most is the nurture part.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:54]:
Okay.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:54]:
So there’s a lot of part about.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:57]:
Connecting with people, and there might be.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:00]:
Posting content, sharing workshops, but the connecting with people part can be missing. And the nurturing, I mean, is there, but the nurturing, those connections can be missing. So how are you nurturing connections that you have, your past clients, your current clients and your potential clients, and even just people, right. Just nurturing collection, build relationships and without the intention of getting something out of them. Because when you build relationships with that intention, the person can tell. So what if you show up with the idea of how can I help this person? How can I support this person? How can I contribute in some way, shape or form to make their life better? And so whatever marketing strategy you’re using, whether it’s the social media strategy or other strategies, which I’m going to talk more and more about that in this podcast, it’s really important for you to work on how you show up. How you show up makes a huge impact on the results that you are receiving. If all your strategies are not working in the way that you would like, first, of course you can look at the strategy, but then the energy of how you show up, the mindset of how you show up, people can tell, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:11:30]:
So can you imagine, like, this happened to me recently, I went into a store to buy something. And if you go to some stores.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:40]:
Where some people have commission.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:43]:
You can sense when they’re like, some people see that as, oh, God, I got to make a sale.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:48]:
I got to make a sale where another person that’s in the same scenario sees you and wants to help you, right? And so there’s a different energy that happens when they approach you and say, can I help you find something?

Kavita Melwani [00:12:02]:
So one of them came immediately as.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:04]:
I walked in the door. I literally didn’t have time to even look, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:12:08]:
And I could feel, and I was.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:10]:
Kind of like almost wanted to leave the store.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:13]:
That was the feeling that I had.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:14]:
But I needed something, so I just kept looking around.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:17]:
And then I actually did end up leaving because I didn’t find what I needed.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:21]:
I went to another store, and in this store, I was looking around. And then the person came up to me and said, well, first they welcomed me to the store and they said, are you looking for something specific or are you just looking around? And I told them, well, I’m looking around for now.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:42]:
And they’re like, well, if you need me, this is my name and I.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:46]:
Can help you find whatever you need, okay? And so that just put my nervous system at ease and I was ready to look. And that’s the energy that you want when you are marketing, when you’re talking to clients, when you’re talking to potential clients, and even just talking to other business owners, when you’re networking and connecting and building relationships. So the nurturing piece and the energy of how you show up, if you can take those things from today’s podcast and apply them, I guarantee you will see changes is in your results of your business. So until next time, take good care. Bye.

It is time to quit or are you at the Tipping Point?

How to know If it is time to quit or if are you at the Tipping Point??


Are you feeling unmotivated or unsure about whether to keep pushing forward or to throw in the towel? The decision of whether to persist or quit can be daunting, especially in the face of obstacles and uncertainty. In this week’s episode of the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club, host Kavita Melwani delves into a topic that many of us can relate to – knowing when it’s time to quit something or whether we’re approaching the tipping point.
Patience, Persistence, and Consistency:
Kavita emphasizes the importance of patience, persistence, and consistency in achieving our goals. Just like with exercise, where consistent effort yields long-term results, the same holds true for various aspects of our lives, such as career, business, relationships, and personal endeavors. It’s crucial to be persistent and not give up too soon, as the tipping point—the moment when our efforts cross a threshold and yield extraordinary results—could be just around the corner.
Three Ways to Determine Quitting Time or the Tipping Point:

  1. Take a Step Back: Stepping back from a situation provides a different perspective and can help in making clearer decisions. Consider taking a break, such as a vacation, to gain a new outlook on your career, business, or relationships. Asking yourself honest questions, seeking insights from a third party, and exploring any fear or uncertainty can reveal whether it’s time to quit or if it’s just burnout that needs addressing.
  2. Write It Down: Journaling and writing down your thoughts can help examine the situation from different angles. By acknowledging the progress you’ve made, you may find renewed motivation to continue or identify areas for change.
  3. Take Action and Prioritize: After evaluating your perspective and insights gained from journaling, it’s time to take action. This could involve brainstorming new ideas, seeking support from others, celebrating your achievements, and creating a plan for change, especially if it’s time to quit and move on to something new.
    Understanding the Significance of Nurturing Your Personal and Professional Growth:
    Whether it’s acknowledging burnout, seeking validation, fear of the unknown, or lack of external results, making decisions about quitting or persisting requires introspection, support, and planning. It’s essential to recognize that quitting doesn’t necessarily mean failure, and moving on from certain aspects of our lives can lead to personal and professional growth.
    Kavita Melwani’s Aligned Vision Workshop:
    Alongside the insightful podcast episode, Kavita Melwani invites listeners to her upcoming Aligned Vision Workshop. This event will provide practical guidance on creating an aligned vision for the future, be it for the next year, quarter, or six months, in a supportive group setting.

    As Kavita Melwani aptly puts it, the decision to quit or persist in pursuing our goals requires patience, introspection, and support. Taking a step back, journaling, and prioritizing action can guide us through this decision-making process. Whether it’s recognizing burnout, celebrating achievements, or creating a plan for change, it’s crucial to nurture personal and professional growth.
    Remember, it’s essential to give yourself the time and space to make informed decisions, as you may be on the verge of a tipping point. If you find yourself contemplating quitting or wanting to assess your next step, I encourage you to listen to Kavita Melwani’s Soulful Entrepreneurs Club episode for practical insights and consider joining her aligned vision workshop to gain further clarity and guidance.

Key Topics of The Episode: It is time to quit or are you at the Tipping Point?

Primary Topic: Knowing When to Quit or Keep Going

  • Introducing the topic of knowing when it’s time to quit something or if you’re at the tipping point.
  • Discussing the challenging nature of the past few years and the uncertainty many people are facing.
  • Sharing personal experiences of feeling like giving up on goals and the decision-making process.
    Sub-topics
  • The significance of understanding when to persist and when to let go
  • The impact of external feedback and results on motivation
    Primary Topic: Strategies for Knowing When to Quit or Continue
  • Discussing the need to be patient, persistent, and consistent to yield results
  • Exploring the impact of burnout, lack of motivation, and exhaustion on decision-making
  • Explaining the importance of taking a step back for a fresh perspective
  • Emphasizing the value of seeking third-party perspectives for clarity
    Sub-topics:
  • The relationship between patience, persistence, and consistent action
  • Recognizing signs of burnout and exhaustion, especially in a work-from-home scenario
  • Benefits of stepping back and examining the situation from a different perspective
  • The importance of seeking impartial perspectives to aid decision-making
    Primary Topic: Utilizing Journaling and Writing as Decision-making Tools
  • Highlighting the benefits of writing down thoughts and emotions in decision-making
  • Discussing the cognitive impact of writing down thoughts and examining situations from various angles
  • Encouraging the practice of listing achievements and acknowledging progress
  • Emphasizing the importance of prioritizing internal and external action based on introspection
    Sub-topics:
  • Exploring the cognitive benefits of writing down thoughts and emotions
  • Adapting journaling and writing practices to assess achievements and progress
  • Emphasizing the importance of prioritizing action based on introspection
    Primary Topic: Taking Action and Celebrating Progress
  • Exploring the outcomes and decision-making processes based on introspection and perspective shifting
  • Discussing the importance of action in response to introspection
  • Encouraging the celebration of personal progress and decision-making, regardless of the outcome
  • Highlighting the importance of planning for future actions and changes
    Sub-topics:
  • Considering the different outcomes of introspection and the need for action
  • Emphasizing the importance of celebrating personal progress and decisions
  • Encouraging planning for future changes and taking action based on introspection

Analogy of It is time to quit or are you at the Tipping Point Episode

Sure, here’s a short analogy to explain the concepts explored in the session:
Deciding whether to quit something or keep going is like deciding whether to continue climbing a mountain or take a break. Just like when you’re hiking and you come to a point where you feel exhausted, you may wonder if it’s time to turn back or keep going. Taking a break allows you to rest, regain your strength, and see the scenery from a different perspective. Maybe you realize you actually want to reach the summit, or maybe you decide that the view from where you are is already amazing. It’s like reassessing your career or business, taking a step back, writing down your thoughts, and then deciding whether to continue your journey or carve a new path.

Transcript of This Episode: It is time to quit or are you at the Tipping Point?

Kavita Melwani [00:00:06]:

Welcome to this week’s episode of the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club. This week, I’m sharing a previous episode that is really relevant today. So this episode is about when to know when it’s time to quit something.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:23]:

Or you’re just there.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:24]:

You’re almost there at the tipping point.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:27]:

For a lot of us, these last.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:28]:

Few years have been challenging and even more so this year.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:34]:

So if you are feeling like you’re.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:37]:

Ready to give up on something that you’ve been working towards and you’re not sure if it’s the right time, then listen to this week’s episode and see if it can help you with that decision. I know that I’ve felt this many times over the course of having my business, and there have been points where I’ve thought, I wonder what I could.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:59]:

Do instead because I’ve hit these points.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:02]:

That are so difficult. So I’m hoping that this episode will help you, and I would love to hear from you. If you hear something that’s beneficial, send me a message. I’d love to hear what you received from this episode. And also, I’d like to invite you to my aligned vision workshop, which is this Friday from 09:00 A.m to 12:00 p.m. Pacific time.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:28]:

It is going to be an event.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:32]:

Where we work together to create an aligned vision for you for the next year or quarter or six months, however far ahead you want to plan.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:42]:

And by really looking at you, your.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:46]:

Business, where you are and then where you want to go and what you.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:51]:

Want to create next year, spending this.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:53]:

Time to plan is so valuable, and.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:55]:

Doing it in a group is very powerful.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:58]:

So I’d love to see you there. If you’re interested, there’s a registration link in the show notes.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:04]:

Either way, enjoy this week’s episode. Hello, enlightened Hearts. This is Kavita coming to you with a topic that I am hearing so much lately, especially with all the uncertainty and the things that are happening around us. So people have been coming and are really not sure if they should stop doing something or leave something.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:37]:

So they are coming and deciding, is.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:39]:

It time to quit? Or am I at the tipping point where this is actually going to work.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:45]:

In my favor and where I’m actually.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:47]:

Going to accomplish some of my goals? So I’m going to dive deep into that. So if you’re starting to feel a lack of motivation, if you’re feeling done with certain things, then this episode has some tips to help you. I’m going to discuss three ways to.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:07]:

Know if it is quitting time or.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:10]:

It’S the tipping point. So let’s dive in. So, patience. We’re often taught that we need to be patient in order to receive the results that we want in our lives. We need to be persistent and consistent. And I will say that when you are patient, persistent, and consistent, that you will often receive results in dividends, like exponential results, right? So sometimes you do something and it doesn’t happen right away.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:45]:

An easy example would be exercise.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:49]:

So if you do one workout, you may feel more energetic, you may sleep better that night, but that result is not long lasting, right? So in order to receive long term results, you need to be consistently exercising. Okay? And that’s when you’re going to start to see the long term results. Maybe your body shape changes a little bit. Maybe some other things happen with your energy levels.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:18]:

Maybe your cholesterol goes down.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:21]:

Right? There’s lots of benefits to exercise. Now, there are times I’m sure that you have felt a lack of motivation, like a lack of motivation to exercise, a lack of motivation to do anything that has to do with physical activity. And when you reach those points, it’s like a choice point, right? So can you or do you continue to exercise or do you quit? Or you could choose a third option, which is to take a temporary break, which I’ll also talk about. Now, exercise is an easy one because there is so much data we may have received physical feedback from actually performing exercise. And so that we can reignite motivation by reminding ourselves of those results and.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:15]:

Even maybe seeing pictures of ourselves pass when we were consistently exercised.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:20]:

There’s a lots of ways, right, to remoteivate.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:23]:

What I’m talking about today is other.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:26]:

Actions that you take where you may not see those consistent results and there’s not necessarily the external positive feedback so.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:35]:

That you can make a decision that.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:39]:

You will continue or you will quit. So what are some things like that? Maybe it’s your current job, maybe it’s your business.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:48]:

Maybe it’s a group that you’re part of.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:52]:

Maybe it’s a friendship, maybe it’s another relationship. Those are the things that I’m referring to that are more complicated and it can be more difficult to make a decision of whether you should quit or keep going. So these things can sometimes take a while to see the results, right? So I’m going to use the example.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:23]:

Of career business work.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:26]:

Okay? So what is something that you can use? You can apply these principles, these strategies.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:31]:

That I’m going to teach you.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:33]:

Think of something, bring that into your mind’s eye right now so that you can apply it right away while I’m talking, okay? So take a step back and look at this thing.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:45]:

And in this case, we’re talking about.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:47]:

Career as an example. How do you feel in this career? Do you see yourself as truly being persistent and be honest with yourself, right? Are you being persistent? Is this something that you are taking consistent action with? Because the reality is, if you give up too soon, you may miss your tipping point. So according to Malcolm Gladwell, the tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips and spreads like wildfire. In fact, he’s written a book about this phenomenon he calls The Tipping Point. So in order to reach the tipping point, you do need to take that consistent action and there are times where it’s time to quit. Okay? So I am going to talk about that.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:45]:

The first step in knowing if it.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:48]:

Is quitting time or the tipping point is to take a step back.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:52]:

So they say that when you’re in.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:54]:

The middle of a situation, it’s really.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:56]:

Hard to determine what the next step is, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:08:00]:

And so if you’ve ever had the experience, when you step away from a project or you step away from a task or from a problem, and then.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:08]:

You come back to it and the.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:11]:

Answer seems really clear, or when you’re.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:14]:

Out doing running errands or going for.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:17]:

A walk or even in the shower, the answer comes to you. So it’s like when you are not actually actively forcing yourself, forcing your brain to come up with a solution, you’re.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:28]:

Able to step away from being within.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:32]:

It and you’re able to see it from a different perspective, okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:08:37]:

So it changes your point of view.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:39]:

And so the first thing to do is to really step away from the situation. So if it’s a career, maybe you have to take a vacation day or a vacation week, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:08:51]:

And taking that vacation can give you.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:54]:

Some perspective about the gifts, about your.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:58]:

Career or work or business and what.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:00]:

Are the things that are in your.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:02]:

Situation that are challenging and unfulfilling, right? And so you can really be honest.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:08]:

With yourself, which is very difficult when.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:10]:

You’Re in the busyness of it, when you’re in the process of actually doing.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:14]:

And fulfilling your goals and taking steps all the time.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:18]:

Okay? And so then you can ask yourself.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:21]:

Questions like, are you holding on to this because you’re afraid to let go? Are you holding on to this because you don’t know what’s next? And that’s a thing I hear a.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:33]:

Lot about in careers, right? They’re like, well, I am in this career and I don’t know what to.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:40]:

Do next, so I’m just going to stay here. Now, there may be some financial reasons.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:45]:

That you need to stay in a.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:46]:

Job or career and so that needs to be also clear, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:09:50]:

So if you decide when you’re taking a step back that you really don’t.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:54]:

Want to do this anymore, there’s lots of reasons.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:57]:

First, I would recommend you bring in.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:00]:

A third party as a way to step back, as a way to see it from a different perspective. Oftentimes friends and family have bias and biases.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:10]:

So I always say if you can.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:13]:

Speak to a therapist or a coach.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:15]:

And you can receive that third, that perspective, that is really valuable, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:10:20]:

And so one of the things I.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:22]:

Offer is a clarity session, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:10:24]:

And so sometimes I have clarity sessions.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:26]:

Oftentimes, and the client receives so much from that clarity session already and decide.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:32]:

Oh, they need further work now to figure out their next career, or the clarity session is all they needed, right? So if that’s something you need support with, taking a step back from your.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:42]:

Situation, then I’m going to recommend there.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:45]:

Will be a link in the show notes to schedule that with me.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:48]:

Okay? And if it’s not with me, if.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:51]:

It’S someone else, right? A third party that has no bias.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:56]:

Which is difficult when you have another.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:00]:

Type of relationship with them.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:01]:

Okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:11:02]:

So really being clear, are you afraid? Are you not doing it because are.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:07]:

You not stepping back because you don’t.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:10]:

Know what the next step is? And then on the other side of that is, do you just need a break? Right? Are you just feeling a little burnt out? Are you just feeling exhausted and tired? I’ve been hearing from a lot of.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:22]:

People that working from home that a.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:26]:

Lot of us have been doing has.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:28]:

Been more work, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:11:30]:

And there’s been this lack of separation between the home life and the work life. And that can create exhaustion, right? Not having that mental, emotional, even like energetic separation from work and home life. So when you step back and step away from it, you can ask yourself.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:47]:

These honest questions, right, and looking at it from a different perspective versus when you’re delving deep into what is happening. Okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:11:58]:

And the other thing to ask yourself is, are you just getting tired of.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:03]:

Not seeing the external results?

Kavita Melwani [00:12:06]:

So, like, if that’s in a business.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:07]:

Maybe your income is not where you want, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:12:10]:

Maybe you don’t have enough customers, clients.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:12]:

Patients, whatever your business is. Or if it’s in a corporate job or a career, maybe you’re not getting the validation. Maybe you’re not getting the income you want. Maybe you’re not getting the raises. Maybe your bosses, superior supervisors don’t see.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:28]:

You and don’t acknowledge you.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:31]:

And that feels like the reason that you want to step back, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:12:35]:

So really stepping back and as you can imagine, all those things have different things that you can do to work with that, right? Oftentimes we’ll just say, I’m done with this, and you’ll just quit. And sometimes it’s not about quitting, right? Sometimes it’s like, well, I need to do this. Maybe I need to ask for some validation. Maybe I need to look and ask.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:00]:

And say, hey, I want to be.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:02]:

The best I can. I want to get a promotion. What can I do to be able to receive that? What do I need to do for that?

Kavita Melwani [00:13:11]:

Right?

Kavita Melwani [00:13:12]:

I am interested in working more with people. How can I do that? So these are all things that you can do.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:18]:

And you can use all the things you have, use your current career and.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:23]:

Even improve how you are and what you’re doing. And then if it’s your business, then you can look and see, what can I do differently. Have I been doing this consistently? How have I been showing up energetically.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:35]:

When I’m taking action?

Kavita Melwani [00:13:37]:

Which is a whole other thing, right? And then you can make decisions, right? So another thing, that’s tip number one. Tip number two is write it down. This is kind of similar to taking a step back, but maybe you can take a break. Maybe you cannot take a day or.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:58]:

A week off and you’re in the.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:01]:

Scenario where you need to make decisions.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:04]:

Quickly or you need some more time, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:14:08]:

On the flip side, maybe a week.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:09]:

Off isn’t enough time.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:10]:

So in that case, the second tip of writing it down, okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:14:16]:

So reexamine the situation and write down your thoughts.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:21]:

When you’re journaling and when you’re writing things down, it uses different parts of your brain than the spiral thinking. It also forces you to examine things.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:34]:

From different angles in a different perspective. I’m thinking you’re hearing a pattern here.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:40]:

About the perspective shifts, right? So when you take a time to write down what the scenario is, some insights might come. You may need to use some other processes, right? Maybe you need to write a list.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:53]:

Of all the things that you receive from your current career or business, right? And then maybe you also need to.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:02]:

Write down the progress that you’ve made and all the things you have done. Because this is the thing our brain loves to focus on, what we haven’t done yet, what we have left to accomplish, and forgets all that we’ve already done, right? So when you actually sit down and write and acknowledge what you’ve done, you may shift how you feel about it. That might even be all you need to help with your lack of motivation or feeling burnt out, right? And so if that’s the case, then.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:39]:

You can add that kind of practice.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:41]:

Of keeping track of all the things you have done on a regular basis.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:44]:

Maybe you do it daily, maybe you.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:46]:

Do it weekly, whatever you can do to really connect with all that you have done.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:52]:

So you are not going to what.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:54]:

Your brain defaults to, which is what you haven’t done yet.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:58]:

Okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:15:59]:

So step number one, take a step back. Really look at the situation. Take a break if you need to. That way you can ask yourself some questions. Number two can be used concurrently with number one. Or you could use it when you can take a break, right? So that is about writing and journaling. There are so many processes that you can use to help you journal as well.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:22]:

And one of them, like I said.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:24]:

Is just writing a list of what are the things you have done. One could be completely just dumping out everything in your brain onto a piece of paper, all that you’re feeling, right? And then that can help with that. Reduce the spiraling thoughts and you can look at things from a different perspective. So number three is to take some action and prioritize it based on what you saw. So let me be clear if what you’re seeing after writing things down is, you know what, this situation that I’m in right now, I really haven’t done much, or the things I’ve done, I really don’t want to continue doing.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:07]:

Or I’m just burnt out from this.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:11]:

This does not feel fulfilling anymore. Even after you take a break, you are completely unmotivated.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:19]:

You don’t have energy.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:20]:

Then it may be time to consider quitting. Okay? On the other hand, once you take a step back, you look at all that you’ve done, you realize that you’re.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:31]:

On your path and that you’re really.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:33]:

Just feeling a lack of motivation because you are not getting the results that you would like, then that’s a different situation, right? And if that’s the case, then it is time for you to take action. Okay? So this could be internal or external action, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:17:52]:

So one of the things I recommended earlier was to if you’re motivated by.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:56]:

Looking at what you have accomplished, keep a practice of writing what you’ve accomplished, right? Review it.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:04]:

Maybe now that maybe you have a.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:06]:

Business and you’ve been working on marketing and doing things, and you’re just like, nothing’s working. Right?

Kavita Melwani [00:18:12]:

And so when you wrote down things.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:14]:

And you took a perspective, you’re like.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:16]:

Yes, I still am passionate about this business.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:18]:

I still want to continue doing this, but I need to do some things differently. There. Now you know what you can focus on, right? Instead of deciding, I’m just done well, you know, you’re actually not done. You’re done with actually taking action on marketing where you’re not receiving the results that you need. You’re not done with your business, right? So then it’s not about quitting. It’s about checking in and taking different action.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:46]:

Okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:18:47]:

And so you can keep this perspective and prioritize action based on what comes through through this introspection that you’re taking through this stepping back, right? You can brainstorm new ideas again. You can work with someone, a third party to help you come up with new strategies. If you’ve decided that you’re done well, then creating a plan for yourself, right? So a lot of times people will say, I’m done with my job. I’m quitting. And then they haven’t put in some financial stability for themselves, right? So then they’re stressed.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:21]:

They come to points where they would.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:24]:

Not like to be right now, on the other hand, if you’re in a place where your health is being impacted.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:29]:

And you know you need to leave.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:30]:

Something, then you do it, right? And you figure it out and receive the support. But if you’re not in that place and you can plan, why not? Why not plan? Create that plan of like, when are.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:41]:

You going to leave?

Kavita Melwani [00:19:42]:

When are you going to need to do how much money do you need to save? Right? And what can you do differently? How can I reignite?

Kavita Melwani [00:19:49]:

Motivation okay, and so that’s the prioritizing.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:52]:

The action piece, right? And so another thing to do for yourself, which I see people not doing, is celebrating what you’ve done, right? So even if you decide to quit something, acknowledge yourself for taking a chance, for doing whatever it was that you did.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:15]:

If it’s a career change or it’s.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:17]:

A business change, or even if you decide that a relationship is no longer serving you, that doesn’t mean that you’re leaving the relationship.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:27]:

And it’s just this thing that is horrible and you don’t want anything to do with it.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:34]:

It could be that you’ve received what you need to from that relationship and they’ve received what they need to from you, and it’s just time to move on. It doesn’t mean that it was bad, right? Take the lessons, take what you’ve learned, grow as a person and move forward. So is it quitting time or is it a tipping point? If you need help with this, I’d be happy to speak with you.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:02]:

And once you’ve kind of taken these.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:04]:

Steps, allow yourself time. We can be impatient. We can say, I need to do this and make this change now. But really giving yourself that time, you may be on the verge of a tipping point. Okay? So in the meantime, take good care and I’ll be back again soon. Bye.

Connect With Kavita


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One thing most solopreneurs don’t do that limits their growth

The Essential Element Most Solopreneurs Overlook for Business Growth (one thing most solopreneurs don’t do that limits their growth)

Are you a solopreneur striving for success and growth in your business? In this week’s episode of the Soulful Entrepreneur Podcast, Kavita Melwani sheds light on a critical aspect that is often overlooked by entrepreneurs, hindering their journey towards achieving their true potential. Join her as she discusses one thing most solopreneurs don’t do that limits their growth.

Success, as Kavita suggests, should be defined on your own terms, and not based on external influences or societal expectations. Once you have a clear understanding of what success means to you, it’s time to address the essential element that could be impeding your progress—planning.

Whilst you may often find yourself deeply engrossed in the day-to-day operations of running your business—working on marketing strategies, attending events, and catering to administrative and financial tasks—there’s a need to allocate time for comprehensive and strategic planning. Kavita emphasizes that planning goes beyond just organizing your daily tasks; it extends to encompassing your week, month, quarter, and year, holding utmost significance in realizing your vision of success.

The reluctance to invest time in planning often stems from the misconception that it takes away from engaging in more ‘productive’ activities related to the business. However, Kavita debunks this myth by highlighting the transformative impact of structured and consistent planning on a business’s trajectory. It’s a catalyst for self-improvement, stimulating internal advancements that are vital for business and personal growth.

Acknowledging that planning can be challenging when done alone, Kavita invites solopreneurs to embark on the journey of introspection and strategizing together. Through insightful guidance and a collaborative approach, you can glean the benefits of shared energy and diverse perspectives. In this context, she extends an invitation to the upcoming planning event on December 1st, offering a supportive communal setting for entrepreneurs to envision and set in motion their plans for the upcoming year.

For those inclined towards independent planning, Kavita provides a three-step framework that entails a thorough reflection on past activities, evaluating their efficacy, and devising an optimized plan for the future. It’s a simple yet powerful method that serves as a springboard for embarking on a transformative planning process.

The message resonating from this podcast episode is clear—the significance of planning as an integral component for solopreneurial success cannot be overstated. By taking a step back from the daily grind to undertake a mindful and purposeful examination of your business, you can elevate your approach, optimize your activities, and set the stage for a fulfilling and fruitful year ahead.

As you venture forth on your solopreneurial journey, don’t underestimate the power of deliberate planning. Embrace this vital element and witness the remarkable growth and fulfillment it brings to both your business and your personal development.

Make a conscious decision to invest in your future success by prioritizing mindful planning. Your entrepreneurial pursuits and personal growth are inherently intertwined. Let your planning be the foundation upon which you build a thriving and purposeful enterprise.

To delve deeper into the nuances of planning and embark on this transformative journey alongside fellow entrepreneurs, mark your calendar for December 1st and join Kavita in the immersive planning event. Alternatively, embrace the three-step framework outlined and embark on your personalized planning quest.

As we draw this episode to a close, let this be a gentle reminder to all solopreneurs—take the time to plan, and pave the way for an extraordinary year ahead.

Until next time, take good care and embrace the power of intentional planning.

Key Topics for This Episode

Primary topic: Importance of Planning for Solopreneurs

  • Defining Success on Your Own Terms
  • Importance of defining success for yourself
  • Not relying on others’ definitions of success
  • Neglecting Planning as Entrepreneurs
  • Focus on day-to-day operations and tasks
  • Overlooking the importance of planning for long-term success
  • The Role of Regular Planning
  • Planning for day, week, month, quarter, and year
  • Need for a consistent process for assessment and improvement
  • Challenges in Prioritizing Planning
  • Balancing time for planning and business operations
  • Overcoming the reluctance to take time away from the business for planning

Primary topic: Planning for Long-Term Success

  • Assessing Past Activities
  • Conducting a time audit of past years
  • Evaluating time spent on marketing and other business activities
  • Identifying What Works
  • Determining activities yielding positive results
  • Recognizing intangible benefits from certain activities
  • Making Decisions and Implementing Changes
  • Choosing to continue or discontinue certain activities
  • Identifying areas of improvement and planning for changes

Primary topic: Upcoming Planning Event

  • Offering Support for Planning
  • Announcement of a planning event on December 1
  • Encouraging participation in community-oriented planning
  • Alternative Individual Planning Steps
  • Providing a three-step individual planning process
  • Empowering solopreneurs to plan on their own if they prefer
  • Emphasizing the Simplicity and Importance of Planning
  • Highlighting the simple nature of planning
  • Emphasizing the necessity and impact of planning for solopreneur growth

Analogy for This Episode (One Thing Most Solopreneurs Don’t Do That Limits Their Growth)

Planning for success as a solopreneur is like being the captain of your own ship. You’re out at sea, navigating through different conditions and obstacles, and it’s crucial to periodically check the map, adjust your course, and ensure your ship is well-maintained. Just like a captain plans for the journey ahead, solopreneurs need to regularly assess their business, identify what’s working, what needs improvement, and chart a course for their success. It’s all about taking the time to plan and steer the ship in the right direction to reach your desired destination.

Transcript of This Episode (One Thing Most Solopreneurs Don’t Do That Limits Their Growth)

Kavita Melwani [00:00:00]:

You. Hello, soulful entrepreneurs. Welcome to this week’s episode of the podcast. So this week I want to talk about something that most of you don’t do that is stopping you from reaching your levels of success, the levels of success that are possible for you. And that, by the way, if you haven’t listened to my episode on determining what is your definition of success and why that’s important, I will have that linked in the show notes. Because success needs to be defined on your own terms, not what other people tell you is success. So first, what is the type of success that you’re looking for? How do you define success for yourself? So once you have that in mind and you want to move forward, most of the time as entrepreneurs, we are working our business. We’re working on our marketing.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:01]:

We’re maybe learning, we’re trying to learn newest trends and strategies. We are maybe attending in person events, online events. We are connecting with other people and working on the administrative stuff, the financial stuff, all the things that it takes to run a business. And we often neglect this one thing, which is about really planning. Now, when I talk about planning, I’m not just talking about planning your day. I’m talking about planning your week, your month, your quarter, your year, and having a process that you follow to assess, to take a look at what you have done and what changes you need to make moving forward, if any. And sometimes it’s not actually a change that’s external, it’s an internal change, right? A lot of times that’s the case. But if you’re not doing this on a regular basis, if you’re not planning, if you’re not looking at what you have done and what worked for you and things you want to change and having your success vision, then you are missing out on reaching the level of success that you desire.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:22]:

And so planning is really important. It’s very difficult to do on your own. Most people don’t want to spend time on this because they feel like they’re taking away from their business, right. I could be markeTing, I could be talking to other people. I could be working with clients. I could be doing all these other things instead of being, working away from my business, looking at what I’m doing and making it better. If you don’t have a process that you follow, I’m going to encourage you to start, start today with something small. Maybe you look at your week, maybe you look at your month, maybe you look at every time you do something that has to do with marketing and do some kind of assessment for that look at one aspect of your business and start to examine that aspect and see what can be done differently.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:24]:

And then create a system for yourself where you’re visiting that every week, every month, every time the event happens, something that is regular. So planning for the year ahead is also important. Most people wait till the new year to set the resolutions and then the year gets started and we get busy. Okay. So I have attended in the past events that help me plan for my year ahead. Whenever I’ve done that, I have a much better year. So this time, if you want to do a planning with me, I am going to have an event on December 1. That is exactly that.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:08]:

It is about you looking at your business and making plans for the year ahead, how to spend your time, and what kind of marketing makes sense for you. And so that way you can start the year off with a plan in place. And sometimes if you do that ahead of time, then you can start to put the pieces in place so that you can start the year off doing what you need to do. Okay? So if that’s something that interests you, you would like to do it in a community. It’s more fun. You can have the energy of other people. I’m going to have this on December 1. There’ll be a registration link in the show notes.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:47]:

I’d love for you to join me. If you don’t want to do it in an event format, then I will give you three steps that you can do on your own right now. So first, I want you to take a look at your year, or maybe even the last two to three years in your business and do a time audit of how you’ve been spending your time, how you’ve been marketing, and then connect with those things. Step two, and see what is working for you. And working could be based on the results that you’re receiving from those. Or it could also be things that you are enjoying and you’re receiving something that may not be as tangible from those activities. Assessing all of that. And then the third part of it is deciding what you will continue next year, where the gaps are, if you’re going to let go of some things, where the gaps are, or what are some things that you’re going to continue but you can improve, and then how you can improve that and then set into place a plan for yourself for the year ahead.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:57]:

Now, it sounds simple. It is simple, but it’s not always easy. So you can follow that format if you like, or you can come to my planning day so that we can work together and create this for you. It’s completely up to you. And all I’m saying is, as a solopreneur, planning is essential. Taking this time away from your business so that you can look at it and improve as an owner. Improve your mindset, improve your activities, improve how you spend your time. You will continue to grow as a spiritual entrepreneur and as an individual.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:36]:

So it’s a short episode this week. I just wanted to come to you and suggest that you take some time to plan. And again, if you want to attend the event, you can do that. Either way, it’s time to go plan your year ahead until next week. Take good care.

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Anxiety. Do you feel like you struggle with reducing anxiety in your daily life? In this episode, I’m going to talk about how you can implement these 3 things along with a few other tips that will help you reduce anxiety significantly.

These tips are called the Three “S” Method:  Sleep, Silence, and Surrender. In addition to these holistic ways, you can also work on improving your thoughts about events, which definitely reduces stress. If you can work on your thoughts you will be able to reduce your stress. Listen in to learn how you can find less anxiety in your life! 

Schedule a clarity session with me by using the link below. Be sure to leave a review and let me know your thoughts once you’ve listened!

 

What I’m sharing with you in this episode:

  • Tips on how to deal with anxiety
  • Have you ever googled how to deal with anxiety?
  • As an empath, you are more prone to anxiety
  • Start looking at anxiety as a signal that something is not working in your life
  • What are you thinking about?
  • Feeling like you are always behind
  • Stress doesn’t actually come from the event
  • Stress comes from the thoughts you are having
  • Focus on your thoughts
  • Choose a different way to respond to a situation
  • Sleep
  • Your bedtime is not the actual time you go into bed
  • Your bedtime starts 30 minutes before
  • Silence
  • Sitting in silence for five minutes a day
  • Go for a walk
  • Practice yoga
  • Silence is not just about sound, it’s about dealing with what’s coming into our bodies
  • Surrender

 

Find me at:

www.alignedandsoulful.com

 

Resource mentioned in the podcast: 

Schedule a clarity session to Explore Working together: 

https://theenlightenedheart.as.me/claritysession

 

Your Free Gift: 

https://theenlightenedheart.pro/5-keys-to-overcoming-overwhelm-as-an-hsp-or-empath/

“5 Keys to Overcoming Overwhelm as an HSP or Empath” 

 

If You want to connect for a complimentary 30-minute clarity session to explore how you can individually thrive as an HSP/Empath, please apply here: 

https://theenlightenedheart.as.me/claritysession

Empath & HSP test:

https://drjudithorloff.com/quizzes/empath-self-assessment-test/

https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

https://drjudithorloff.com/how-to-know-if-youre-an-empath/

 

Do you consider yourself a compassionate person? How about self-compassionate? If you aren’t sure how to practice self-compassion, keep reading. Negative self-talk can genuinely get in the way of living your abundant, purposeful life. I am willing to bet that the things you say to yourself, you wouldn’t say to your worst enemy.  Although words are powerful, how you treat yourself is just as important. According to WikipediaSelf-compassion is extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main components – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.[1]

Self-compassion is difficult on a daily basis and even more challenging when you feel like a failure.

Instead, of the negative self-talk and mistreatment of yourself,  it is essential to practice self-compassion.  You may be wondering: Why is self-compassion so hard? and how do you practice it? Especially when you feel like a failure. Why is it important?

Self-compassion for HSP’s and Empaths

The world is not designed for you if you are an HSP or Empath. It is intended for the majority of the population or the other 80%. When you live in an environment that is not a fit for your temperament, then it is easy to judge yourself harshly. You have a higher likelihood of feeling like a failure.

Learning how to practice self-compassion is a crucial part of living a joyful life and thriving in the world.

Why is Self-Compassion so Hard?

Comparison is a natural part of the human condition, yet when we compare ourselves to people that are different, it easy to feel like there is something wrong with you. The standards that we hold ourselves to by looking outward, may not fit who we are, and our unique strengths. Our tendency to compare can be a useful tool.

If you comparing yourself to others is a challenge for you, please check out my Vlog on using comparison to your advantage: Click here to watch.

Comparison to others can lead to so much pain and discomfort. When we compare ourselves to others many issues arise such as a lack of motivation and seeing ourselves as less worthy of love. Which can result in a lack of compassion for ourselves.

I want to remind you that we are all our unique beings, with our own strengths and talents, which we take with a unique set of circumstances. When we compare ourselves to others, it is inaccurate because we only see part of the picture and because “They are not us!”

Another form of comparison that impacts our ability to be self-compassionate is measuring ourselves to the standard of where we thought we “should” be by now. Feeling that you should be somewhere else or farther along by now, or that you thought you would be, is not helpful. Instead, recognize where you are and how far you have come.  Ask yourself how you came up with this standard of where you “should” be before you beat yourself up for not being there yet.

Take a moment and ask yourself, why do you feel like a failure? What is triggering your negative self-talk or other behaviors that are not compassionate? Where did the standards of what a successful person is come from? Does that match who you are, and what you really want in your life?

Hopefully, you are starting to see why self-compassion is difficult, and you want to treat yourself better.

How Can I Improve my Self-Compassion Skills?

The first step is to look at where your beliefs come from and check in to what you really believe, as well as what you truly want. Acknowledge that you aren’t perfect, although I want to emphasize that there is nothing wrong with you. Perfection is an illusion, as human beings, we are designed to learn and grow and in order to do that, we must make mistakes. Our mistakes are proof that we are living and taking chances. Our mistakes make use grow.

After you recognize what beliefs are impacting your ability to be self-compassionate, the next step is to ask yourself what you would say to a loved one. Specifically, what you would say to them if they were treating or speaking to themselves the way you have been.   If someone you loved, or even a child, told you that they can’t be self-compassionate because they haven’t accomplished everything they thought they would by now, what would you tell them? Most likely not what you are saying to yourself.

Nest, look at what is going well. What is it that you have accomplished? What are your unique strengths? How do you show up in your life? Really take some time with this one, inquire and write it down. Once you have it written down, take it in. How do you feel now?

What Are Some Practical Suggestions for Self-Compassion?

Now that you have seen what is going well and all the ways that you contribute in the world, it is time to show yourself compassion. It is important to treat yourself with the same love and respect that you show to those you love. A bonus is that how you treat yourself shows others how you want to be treated, or on the flipside what you are willing to put up with.

As your own worst critic it is vital to show self-compassion through taking time off, doing things you love, and acknowledging all that you have accomplished/contributed.

If you aren’t sure where to start, think about what you would recommend to your friends and loved ones? What do you wish they would do more for themselves? This is a great place to give yourself permission for self-compassion.

If you feel like a failure, you are stuck in a negative mindset and spiral. The thoughts and things you tell yourself you would not say to anyone else. Take some time and step back, acknowledge your imperfections with the understanding that there is nothing wrong with you. Take some time to see what is working, what you have accomplished, and how you show up in the world. Treat yourself with the same respect you would treat a loved one. If you don’t, who will? For more tips on practicing and developing self-compassion click here.

If you need help in learning to love yourself, apply for a complimentary 30-minute clarity session below.

Are you having trouble sleeping or waking up in the middle of the night? Do you just feel like you need a break? Are you exhausted? On edge? Irritable? Does every task feel like too much? Headaches or physical pain?  It is time to develop a deeper level of self-compassion. How can you develop self-compassion when you feel this way?

Some of you may be feeling the effects of burn out. It happens to the best of us, especially under these trying times. Personally, this year has felt like a freight train has come and run me over. I started the year getting really sick, which the effects of that lasted for over a month. We then went into a shelter in place, had to cancel plans/trips, my business has been affected, my friends have been impacted, isolation from friends/family, some weird hornets, and the blatant evidence of racism in our country.

Phew… Even writing that out all made me tired. I wanted you to see it all written out so that you can truly grasp how much we are all dealing with right now. I acknowledge that you may be dealing with a lot more, to which I can only express that I send you loving energy.

So this is all a lot. What if you were already feeling burnt out before this all started? I was feeling somewhat burnt out so I get it, which is why I wanted to share some strategies and tips to help you.

Recognize the lack of Self-Compassion

To show yourself compassion, you must first recognize that you are not showing yourself enough compassion. If you were self-compassionate you would have taken a break or given yourself some slack. You must also acknowledge that you are experiencing a lot.  If you are an HSP/Empath, you may feel like others don’t seem to be as deeply impacted and are dealing with similar circumstances; the truth is that we are feeling it all at a deeper level. Your nervous system is at a constant state of stress/anxiety because the events are continuous. There seems to be no end is in sight.

Take a moment to recognize how you are feeling, recognize that you are going through a lot and that it is OK if you are exhausted.

It is OK if you need more sleep than usual if you want to watch more TV or need more baths/walks. The tendency is for us to “leave our bodies”, stay in our heads, and numb when we are stressed/overwhelmed/anxious.  We can numb through overwork, social media, television, food, alcohol, or many other avenues.

I am going to ask you to recognize all the behaviors you are engaging in and be kind to yourself, Judgement is not helpful.

Choose Elevated Rejuvenation (AKA Self-care)

If you don’t take a break, your brain will find a way to make you take a break. You may feel distracted, and mindlessly eat or scroll social media. Maybe you have been engaging in numbing activities unconsciously and are able to recognize them and want to change.

Elevated rejuvenation involves consciously choosing what truly feeds your soul. What works for you, may not work for others, but there are some common themes that are rejuvenating.

Before I go into the rejuvenation tips, if you are not feeling ready for that yet, if you are experiencing anxiety and need support with that, start with my blog post here on beating anxiety.

Nature

As human beings, our physical bodies are not meant to be inside all the time. Being outside in nature can rejuvenate you. What if you consciously chose to spend 15 minutes a day outside. You could just sit outside, you could take a stroll and enjoy the trees and flowers or even go on a run/long walk/

Hiking can also be an activity that helps you focus on the outdoors, your steps, and the trail. It is a wonderful way to connect with nature and regroup.

Mindfulness

What is mindfulness anyway? It is being fully present in the moment. Most stress and anxiety comes from worrying about the future or thinking about the past. If you make the effort to be mindful, then you can ground yourself to what is actually happening in the moment.

A simple way to practice mindfulness is to be fully present in an activity that you already do, like washing the dishes, folding laundry, or even filing.  Pick an activity and choose to focus solely on that activity, don’t think about what’s next or the past. When thoughts come, you can notice them and say “that’s nice, I will think about that later” and refocus.

Try this and sense how you feel before and after the activity.

Journaling

There are so many journaling techniques so I will not be listing them all here. To develop self-compassion, I am going to recommend you try the following:

  1. Set aside time to write, maybe even outside
  2. Write out all your feelings, thoughts, worries, dump them all out onto the page. Do this without judgment, all the words to flow.
  3. Take a breath and release it all, surrender the solutions to Divin.e
  4. Now write down what you need, what do you really want to do today? Allow the ideas to flo.w
  5. Take a moment and schedule or actually do what your heart wants.

Developing self-compassion takes time.

When you are developing self-compassion, you must be patient, especially when you are burnt out. The highest level of self-compassion out is to take time out for yourself and consciously choose your rejuvenation.

Choose elevated self-care, journal, meditate, practice mindfulness, and/or spend some time in nature.

If you need support in developing self-compassion, please apply here for a 30-minute clarity session.

Self-compassion is a vital part of feeling purposeful, well, and happy. You may be thinking that’s great, but: What is self-compassion, and why is it important? I want to go into this topic in detail so you can leave with an understanding and strategies you can apply to your life.

What does self-compassion mean?

Self-compassion is the ability to view ourselves as inherently flawed human beings; it is when we can talk to ourselves with the same voice we would use with a friend.  When you can view what you are doing, how you look, your actions with patience, understanding, and loving energy, then that is self-compassion.  What most people end up doing is comparing themselves to others and feeling inadequate. Comparison never gives us the full picture of anyone’s life.

Comparison can come in the form of career, body image, relationships, your home, your kids, or any other aspect of your life.

We can be our harshest critics, the things that we say to ourselves we wouldn’t dream of saying to others.  Be honest about your self-talk what are the things you think or say to yourself daily. What do you say to yourself when you are looking in the mirror or comparing your life to others?

Do you work hard trying to prove your worth? Do you wait till you are done with your work to allow yourself to engage in self-care such as eating, resting, or the many other aspects of self-care?

What would happen if you showed yourself kindness, acknowledged you who you are, and didn’t have to justify self-care?

How can I improve my self-compassion?

The first step in improving self-compassion is to notice your level of self-compassion. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, if you compare and how you compare yourself to others and whether you withhold self-care unless you have “earned it.”

My recommendation is that you start tracking one of these at a time and work on each individually. Pick the one that is easiest for you to track, write it down, and after a week, take a good look at what is happening. If you need help with setting goals, here is a blog on increasing motivation  that can help.

The next step would be to choose differently. How would you like to speak to yourself,  compare, or take care of yourself? What would feel like you are worth the effort? Then start implementing this in your life. If you are working on your self-talk, maybe put up notes around your house with the new things you want to say. Write out how you want to talk to yourself in the morning or before going to bed at night. Take the time to shift your self-compassion.

Then notice how you feel. Do you feel calmer, more content, less critical, or irritable? Do you think just better? Keep at it; move to the next way you don’t show yourself compassion.

 

You are worth it!

 

How does self-compassion work?

Another vital part of self-compassion is your ability to see the things that you are good at, to focus on what you have accomplished, how you contribute every day to the world.

It is easy to try to look at the big things that we do and wait till we reach those goals to feel a sense of purpose. The reality is that you can feel purposeful every day. Every time you show yourself or someone else, some kindness, love, or generosity, you are contributing to the world.

Acknowledge what you do every day to contribute to the world

Your inherent strengths and who you are as a person is on purpose. If you believe in a higher power, than you can acknowledge that you were made this way on purpose. You are divinely created.  With this energy, write out what makes you unique, what your strengths are, and your gratitude for those aspects of yourself.

As you look at what you already do and who you are, your self-compassion and self-esteem will improve.

We all have the ability to improve ourselves, the danger in focusing only on how we can be better is that we lose the focus on what we already have, and all that we are.

Focusing on what we do have is especially important as an empath. Since you can feel things at a deeper level, you can feel the negative self-talk or the comparison at a deep level.  The good news is that you can also feel good things deeply. Don’t allow yourself to dim your light, acknowledge who you are and how you are created by the Divine on purpose. Your empathy contributes to the world in a way that others can’t. I see you and want to acknowledge that you are unique and amazing.

Improving your self-compassion may take some inner work. By looking at how you compare yourself to others, your self-talk,  self-care, you as a Divine creation, and all that you accomplish, you can improve your self-compassion.

With improved self-compassion imagine how much better you could you feel every day? How would that impact your life?

You may have heard about self-compassion? What does self-compassion look like as a Highly Sensitive Person or HSP?

According to Dr. Elaine Aron, 15-20 % of the population is born with the temperament she deemed “highly sensitive.” If you are not sure what that means or what it means to be a highly sensitive person, then start here. Are you a highly sensitive person? 

Even without explaining or learning more about what it means to be a highly sensitive person, just by doing that math, it becomes evident that about 80% of the population is not highly sensitive. If this is the case, then we most likely don’t know that many people who are highly sensitive and/or we are surrounded by people who are not like us.

It is human to compare ourselves to others, what they are doing, what they are wearing, how they react, what they enjoy as a gauge as to how we are doing in life. The problem for us as HSP’s is that we will never “measure up.” To the other 80%. The world is created for those of us that are not HSP’s, what is considered “fun” has not been designed by an HSP, so comparison is a losing game. If you want to learn more about having fun as an HSP, check out my blog. 

You will never measure up to a non-HSP because you are different. It is time to develop self-compassion as a highly sensitive person.

When we don’t measure up to those around us, we can feel isolated, alone, and just not enough. When we feel different and alone, it is easy to lack self-compassion. Instead, our inner dialogue can sound like: 

“What is wrong with me, why can’t I just do___.” 

“Why don’t I like to go to ____ like the rest of my friends?”

“I will never be successful; I just don’t fit in.” 

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? If they do, I am here to tell you that you are not alone! And it is time to start the process of accepting and loving yourself as you are. Know that you were born an HSP, and if you are spiritual (which lots of us are), then you may believe that there are no coincidences. The world needs you and your uniqueness. The gifts you bring to the world are not available from anyone else in the way that you bring them. 

You may be wondering how you can begin the process of accepting and loving yourself, which is essential to self-compassion. I have some steps to help you with that process. What does self-compassion look like for a highly sensitive person? 

  1. Accept that you were made an HSP on purpose. You were born with this temperament. Dr. Aron found this temperament across species. If nature has created you, there is a reason. You are needed in the world. Your role is vital. 
  2. Recognize what makes you unique and/or that you love about yourself. You know there are some things about your temperament that make you unique. To put you on the right track, I will say you most likely feel things deeply and can listen deeply to others. Just being able to provide true, deep listening is a gift to this world! It is definitely a gift to the person. Write out somethings about yourself that you like. 
  3. Ask others. If you have trouble finding things that you like about yourself, or what makes you unique, it is time to ask your loved ones. Pick two people that you have a close relationship with and ask them, “What do you see that makes me unique?” 
  4. Now that you have a list, it is time to use it. I am going to recommend that you read this list every day, if possible, more than once a day. The ideal times are first thing in the morning and last thing before going to bed. I want you to read the list and really feel what you are reading. 
  5. Allow your own unique fun. A bonus step would be for you to pick one thing that you enjoy, that you find “fun” in a Highly sensitive person way and allow yourself to do it. This may be merely being alone with tea and a book. It may be watching a genre of movie that not many around you like, or it may be going out to nature. These are just some examples to get you started! Just because you may not find loud, crowded places fun (or may only find them enjoyment for a short period of time) does not mean there is something wrong with you. Practice self-compassion by doing what you really want to do! 

I would love to hear how taking these steps have helped. Remember that you were born an HSP, you were made this way on purpose. The world needs you, and to fully be in the world, you must own your uniqueness and the gifts you bring to the world. 

If you are a Highly Sensitive person or empath and are not sure how to navigate the world so you can thrive, click here to apply for a complimentary 30-minute clarity session. 

How many times have you heard statements like these? 

“You’re too dark!” “You’re too shy!” 

“Wow, you are hairy!” “You are too fat.” 

“You are too much!” “ You are too little.” 

“Wow, you have gained weight!” 

Recently I was listening to Oprah’s soul series podcast, and there was an episode in which Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye” was being discussed. It was a replay from her book club. It reminded me of the following things I heard from other kids at school and adults while I was growing up. 

I was an Indian American girl growing up in South Texas. My parents spent a lot of time working hard to try to accomplish the American dream. As soon as they could afford it, they put me in private school. I remember entering 2nd grade and feeling so out of place. First, everyone wore uniforms and there I was with my dresses. I was the only Indian girl besides my sister and was just different. My parents were not wealthy like lots of the other parents, and they didn’t come to volunteer or to many school events. They didn’t know that it was necessary at the time. I know my parents did the best they could, and I do wish they were more present. 

On top of all of this, I was horrible at sports and had my growth spurt in 5th grade. All of this has had an impact. It has affected how I dress, how I function in the world, how I show up in the world, and, most of all, my self-image. 

What critical or hurtful words have you heard that you still remember and maybe still have an energetic charge? 

Bringing the words to the light and into your awareness is the first step in healing. Recognize how these words impact your behavior, and then you can work on changing those words that have most likely become your thoughts. These thoughts impact your behavior and your feelings and definitely your self-worth. 

How can you accept these flaws? How can you accept that You are enough and that you are not those words, those words don’t define your self-worth? 

Here is the process: Recognize the words, know and clarify how they impact you, reprogram the words with the truth, and choose differently. To explain this process, here is an example below: 

  1. “You are too fat!” 
  2. These words impact me: I feel fat and compare my body to others. I don’t wear clothes that are fitted and often hide in pictures; I wear loose clothes, I can diet and overexercise. 
  3. Truth: Your body is curvy; this is who you are. No matter how much you hide your body or hide in pictures, you will not be able to change your body type. Life is too short to wear clothes that you don’t like. Life is too short to hide
  4. Action: Tell your body you are grateful for it and today where something that you like or if you feel called to do so, go get a beautiful fitted dress. 

Please note that you may have to do this multiple times. The more you can catch these thoughts, the more you can let them go and improve your confidence/self-worth. 

Know that your thoughts create your reality. You can choose differently. 

If you need support in shifting your thoughts so you can be more confident, contact me to apply for a complimentary 30-minute clarity session 

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  1. […] Adding to our experience with stress is the fact that most HSP’s/Empaths don’t feel like they belong in the world and feel like they are not enough. If you need support with your self-worth, read “You are enough.” […]

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