As I was sitting and watching Adele win “Album of the Year” at the Grammy’s, I could feel her authenticity and joy. When she stood up and said the following words, I really connected with her and her struggle.
“And in my pregnancy and through becoming a mother I lost a lot of myself. And I’ve struggled, and I still do struggle being a mom. It’s really hard. But tonight winning this kind of feels full-circle, and like a bit of me has come back to myself.” -Adele
(See the full speech here)
Yes, Adele, being a mom is really hard! Whether your a SAHM, WAHM, the fact is that moms are doing the best they can. Of course, there are great perks to the job such as sticky “I Love you’s”, the knowledge that you are making a meaningful impact on their lives, the unconditional love you feel for them, and much more. Despite these benefits, I truly believe that moms are not valued enough in our society. I know this fact because I can feel the judgment when I don’t book clients after 4 PM, or when I choose not to come to a networking happy hour because that is prime time with my kids. I am tired of hearing people say things like “you are only a mom, what do you do all day?!” or on the flip side “How can you stand to spend time away from your kids and work?!”
Truthfully no matter what we do as mothers, it isn’t good enough, and worse we are hard on ourselves because we want to be great moms and can feel like we don’t measure up.
Adele’s admission to losing a part of herself when she had her child is validating to my own experience and many other mothers. Becoming a mother changes a woman’s identity, priorities and often shifts values. So yes I lost a part of myself when I had my children. Many of my clients really struggle with finding who they are now that they have children.
If a mother stays in the same career, she has to balance the career with the responsibilities as a mother. There is often guilt because she doesn’t feel like she is there enough and misses out on some of their days.
If a mother decides to stay at home, then she is leaving behind a career that she may or may not be able to go back to. A career she may have spent years preparing for and dreaming about. She is leaving behind a big part of her identity. When or if she decides to re-enter the workforce, her skills may be outdated or the gap in her resume is frowned upon by potential employers.
If a mother decides to start a business because she has a dream of flexibility and a more purposeful career, there is a whole other set of challenges. She has to be in the world of an entrepreneur/business owner. In this world, working for 80 hours a week is a badge of honor. Going to networking happy hours and early morning events happens to be the way that business networking is done. Being available in the evenings and on weekends are often expected. Talking about your kids is often frowned upon. In this case, the mompreneur can often feel like she is not taken seriously as an entrepreneur.
I know the plight of all these paths first-hand because I have personally walked down all of them. The plight of the mompreneur is the inspiration and motivation for my business. I am passionate about helping mompreneurs run successful, profitable businesses while being able to balance their time and energy. Moms are the unsung heroes the hardworking, multi-taking, heart-centered business owners we need in our world. It breaks my heart to see a mompreneur play small or question herself! Motherhood is a hard and fulfilling job, being an entrepreneur is hard too! For me and for other mompreneurs our businesses are not necessarily reclaiming a part of ourselves that we lost, but is really re-creating a new identity that fits who we have become.
Whether you are a SAHM, WAHM, Working mom (writing that makes me laugh because all moms are working) you are exactly where you need to be right now. If you are on a path to discovering your career purpose, keep going, I promise it will come. If you are on the path to creating your business on your own terms, keep going you are needed.. If you are busy staying at home and working to raise your kids, keep going you are needed!
If you are ready to live your purposeful life and would like my support, contact me for a complimentary Clarity session.