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Sneaky ways Perfectionism shows up and stops you

Sneaky ways Perfectionism shows up and stops you

January 25, 2024

I’m Kavita
A Jungian Business and Success coach, a highly-sensitive woman and an empath. A mother of two beautiful boys, and a serial entrepreneur.
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Sneaky ways Perfectionism shows up and stops you

Unveiling the Sneaky Ways Perfectionism Can Halt Your Success as an Entrepreneur- Sneaky ways Perfectionism shows up and stops you

Are you always striving for perfection in your business endeavors, feeling the need to get everything just right before taking action? If so, you may be grappling with the subtle but insidious grip of perfectionism, a trait that could be silently sabotaging your progress as an entrepreneur. In a recent episode of the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast, Kavita Melwani, a master certified success and business coach, delves into the ways perfectionism can manifest and impede your success. Here, we explore the sneaky ways in which perfectionism shows up and stops you in your tracks, as well as actionable solutions to break free from its grip and step into your full potential.
During the podcast, Kavita shines a light on how our conditioning from childhood, particularly within a grading system that rewards perfection, can instill a deep-seated need for external validation and approval. This conditioning can breed a fear of making mistakes and a reluctance to take imperfect action, ultimately hindering your growth as a soulful entrepreneur. As a result, you might find yourself hesitating to market your business, share your expertise, or take necessary risks, all due to the fear of imperfection. The striving for perfection can lead to overthinking, excessive preparation, and ultimately burnout, creating a barrier to consistent, intentional action.
Kavita emphasizes the importance of embracing imperfection and taking imperfect, aligned action. She emphasizes that relentless persistence, coupled with the willingness to imperfectly execute your ideas, is key to unlocking your full potential as an entrepreneur. By challenging the fear of imperfection and reframing your mindset, you can cultivate a healthier approach to taking action and making progress in your business.
So, how can you untangle yourself from the grip of perfectionism and forge ahead with confidence and purpose? Kavita encourages a mindful approach to addressing these challenges, beginning with a deep reflection on your fears and the worst-case scenarios. By understanding your fears and reframing your mindset to focus on the potential for success rather than failure, you can start to unravel the grip of perfectionism and step into your power as an entrepreneur.
Kavita also urges entrepreneurs to define success on their own terms, freeing themselves from societal or academic standards of perfection. By recognizing the value of imperfect action and focusing on the intention behind your endeavors, you can liberate yourself from the shackles of perfectionism and propel your business forward with authenticity and purpose.
In closing, Kavita extends an invitation for entrepreneurs to break free from the clutches of perfectionism and take the first step toward embracing imperfection in their business endeavors. She encourages individuals to embark on the journey of self-discovery and growth, unearthing and challenging the ways in which perfectionism may be holding them back from their true potential.
So, if you’re ready to rise above the constraints of perfectionism and step into your next level of success as a soulful entrepreneur, Kavita offers a complimentary consultation to explore how working together can support your growth. By taking that first step and embracing imperfect action aligned with your intentions, you can embark on a transformative journey toward entrepreneurial fulfillment.
In conclusion, by recognizing and addressing the sneaky ways in which perfectionism can masquerade as diligence, we can begin to reclaim our agency as soulful entrepreneurs and unlock the full potential of our businesses.
Remember, the time is now for you to rise up and shine your light, imperfections and all.
Take good care and embrace the journey ahead.

Key Topics for this Episode: Sneaky ways Perfectionism shows up and stops you

Primary Topic: Introduction to Perfectionism and its Impact

  • Definition of perfectionism
  • Link between perfectionism and childhood conditioning
  • External rewards and validation associated with perfection
  • Impact of perfectionism on entrepreneurial journey
    Primary Topic: Ways Perfectionism Manifests and Limits Progress
  • Stopping oneself from marketing and self-promotion
  • Overthinking and over-preparing for tasks and projects
  • Feeling inadequate compared to others
  • Fear of making mistakes and its impact on progress
  • The importance of relentless persistence
    Primary Topic: Shifting from Perfectionism to Imperfect Action
  • Embracing imperfect action for sustainable progress
  • Overcoming fear and addressing the worst-case scenarios
  • Focusing on intentions and goals for taking action
  • Assessing and improving upon previous actions
    Primary Topic: Overcoming Perfectionism
  • Identifying fear-based limitations
  • Replenishing energy and taking action without attachment
  • Re-defining success on personal terms
  • Inviting conversations and consultations for further guidance

Analogy for This Episode: Sneaky ways Perfectionism shows up and stops you

Perfectionism is like trying to bake a cake perfectly on the first try without ever having baked before. You keep researching recipes and techniques, buying the best ingredients, and overthinking every step. As a result, you end up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed before you even start. But what if you just went for it, made mistakes, and learned as you went along? Maybe the first cake won’t be flawless, but the joy and learning from the process will lead to creating even better cakes in the future. So, don’t be afraid to jump into the kitchen and embrace the imperfectly delicious journey of baking your first cake.

Transcript for this Episode

Kavita Melwani [00:00:00]:

Kavita Melwani [00:00:00]:
My name is Kavita Melwani and I’m a master certified success and business coach.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:05]:
With two decades of experience as an.

Kavita Melwani [00:00:07]:
Entrepreneur and almost a decade as a coach. I want to personally welcome you to the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast where my vision is to empower as many spiritually led businesses to run purposeful and profitable businesses aligned with true selves. I want you to confidently and opulently shine your light without the overwhelm, the stress or the burnout. Together, we will explore challenges that soulful entrepreneurs face and real, implementable solutions so you can step into your unique purpose and shine. It is possible to bridge the success you already have with the truest, soulful, mystical parts of yourself. Are you ready to rise up as the leader you were born to be? Then join me, my soulful friends. The time is now for you to rise up and shine your light. The world needs you.

Kavita Melwani [00:01:09]:
Perfectionism can spoil your progress. So if you’re a recovering perfectionist or consider yourself a straight a student, a person that is known for getting things done correctly, then this episode is for you. As an entrepreneur. If you are still needing the approval that comes with doing things perfectly, this comes from your conditioning. This comes from, a lot of it comes from our childhood, right? So, thinking back, if you went to a school system that had grades, you were rewarded for doing things really well. Almost perfect, right? 100% on an exam or a class, that meant that you did things perfectly. You got nothing incorrect, nothing wrong. And so, for a long time, we are trained to work for that reward, for the external reward of the grade.

Kavita Melwani [00:02:17]:
And then the higher grade that we get, then the more rewards that we receive. And then not only in the form of the grade. Maybe you get praise from the teachers, maybe you received praise from your family, your parents. And so then that creates this idea and conditioning that in order for me to get positive feedback, to be seen, to be appreciated, my work has to be perfect. So even if you don’t actively think that right now, the past conditioning may be subconsciously impacting you because there’s this need to want validation. And so then when we’re looking for perfection, that can stop you. Especially if it’s subconscious, right? If it’s subconsciously, it’s stopping you in these ways. So first, you may be stopping yourself from marketing as much as you would like.

Kavita Melwani [00:03:20]:
Maybe you’re not posting as much if you’re using social media. Maybe you’re not talking about your business as much as you would like to. Maybe you want to do a workshop or a class or a speaking engagement, but you’re not doing it because you’re not sure if you’re going to do something wrong. And sometimes it can show up, like, what do I have to offer that people don’t already know, right? It’s all been done. Or you compare yourself and you look at someone else and say, well, they’re doing these things. I can’t even come close, so I shouldn’t be doing this, right? And so then you overthink it, maybe. Then you go into a mode of learning. And so you’re like, if I’m going to do this, then I want to do it perfectly.

Kavita Melwani [00:04:10]:
And again, that may not be what you’re saying to yourself. You’re saying, I want to do it right, or I have to do it properly or whatever. And so you go into that mode of research, learning, over preparing. And so by the time you do something, then you are exhausted, because in order to do one workshop, you needed hours and hours and hours of preparation, right? And so then how would you want to do that again? And so then that stops you from moving forward, because then every task becomes huge. And this is one of the shifts that we as entrepreneurs need to continue to work on, is the idea that you need to continue to take action on a regular basis and do so without kind of this attachment which causes burnout. In fact, I just read this article in, I think it was Forbes magazine, that know there are three keys to entrepreneurial success. And one of the keys they talked about was relentless persistence. And having persistence is what’s going to differentiate you from those people that give up, that give up on progress, give up on taking action, give up on their dreams.

Kavita Melwani [00:05:34]:
It’s the persistence and the persistence. Not just persistence, but relentless persistence. And to keep going like that without burning out, there has to be a sense of it doesn’t have to be perfect, because the perfectionism, the over preparing will burn you out. The attachment also will burn you out. Right? And so I want you to have the highest level of success. I want you to achieve your desires, your goals, your dreams. It’s about taking that imperfect action, the imperfect aligned action. So what’s aligned with what you want to create, what you want to do.

Kavita Melwani [00:06:18]:
And even though it might be uncomfortable to do that, and when you can take those steps and you can take that imperfect action, then only can you take the next step and the next step, because the truth is we can create a plan, which I think is really important, and then we pick our next steps. And often, once we start taking steps, the next step is different than what we thought, right? And so we have to have this openness to possibilities being even better than we could even imagine, right? And so then if you’re taking this idea, let’s say you decide that you’re going to do the workshop. And so you do the workshop, you plan it, you invite people and you don’t over prepare. You use your intuition, you use your strengths, knowing that you know how to help people, you know how to support people. You do the workshop and then you don’t stop. Then through the workshop, maybe you get an opportunity for another workshop. Or maybe you decide, now I have some content for my social media or for my blog or for my YouTube channel or to send out in my newsletter. Maybe then you have some content to share on social media.

Kavita Melwani [00:07:39]:
Maybe then you decide that, okay, I want to do it better next time. So I’m going to make these changes. And now you’ll do it again and you’ll do it in a different location. Maybe you did it offline, so you’ll do it online or vice versa. It’s about the continued action. When we get stuck in not seeing the results that we thought we’d get and we get stuck in over preparing in the sense of needing it to be almost perfect in order for that to go out there, then that’s coming from fear. And that fear is stopping you from moving forward in your business. And so going towards that fear and asking yourself, what are you actually afraid of? What is the next step that can happen? Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:08:27]:
So first, what are you actually afraid of?

Kavita Melwani [00:08:29]:
What’s the worst that could happen? Let’s say you have a workshop and you make a mistake during the workshop, what could happen? And then what, right, so going to what you’re really afraid of and then knowing that the chances of that happening are really small, and then what is it that you actually want? If you knew that you could succeed, right, that’s the question that they ask often, I hear, is if you knew that you couldn’t fail. Right. Is usually how they say it. But if you knew that it would work out and it would always work out, what is the next step that you would take? Okay. And so that can eliminate some of that need for perfection. And then when you think about creating whatever you’re going to create and you’re starting to work on that, how can I bring the real elements here? What is truly important? What is the goal of this? What is the intention of this? And if you know the intention, making sure you’re focusing on the aspects of that that will bring your intention, right? That will match your intention. And so then you take that step. Then once you’re done taking the step, you do kind of an assessment.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:48]:
Look at what you’ve done and see what you want to do next. How can you do what you did better and then take another step? Where people get stuck is in several parts of this process. The first part, before they actually take action, there’s a fear that can come up there, or the fear comes up once you’ve taken action and not gotten the results that you wanted, and you stop yourself there because you don’t want to feel that pain again or again. These are all unconscious. Doesn’t mean you’re thinking this actively, right? Or you take a few steps and you are really attached and it took a lot of energy, and so you start to burn out. So what is it for you? Where do you stop yourself through perfectionism? These are all parts of that whole umbrella of perfectionism. Where do you stop yourself, and how can you choose differently now that you’re aware of this? So commit today. Commit to one thing that you’ve been afraid to do, or something that you’ve done in the past that maybe you can improve a little bit and do again.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:55]:
Or if you’re feeling that burnout, can you do another thing right now after you replenish your energy without the attachment? Perfect is not going to get you your success. It’s something we have to keep telling ourself because we’ve been conditioned in school to believe that that is what is success. And it’s also important to define success for yourself. I’ve had a couple of podcast episodes on that, and I will put that in the show notes. So if you are ready to move into your next level of success, I’d love to hear from you. I have a link in the show notes to book a consultation, a discovery call that will go, and we will dive into your business and see how working together may or may not be a good fit. And you will leave with some action steps. So if that sounds aligned, go ahead and take a look in the show notes and book that call.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:55]:
I’d love to talk to you. In the meantime, take good care. Bye.

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