Self-compassion is a vital part of feeling purposeful, well, and happy. You may be thinking that’s great, but: What is self-compassion, and why is it important? I want to go into this topic in detail so you can leave with an understanding and strategies you can apply to your life.
What does self-compassion mean?
Self-compassion is the ability to view ourselves as inherently flawed human beings; it is when we can talk to ourselves with the same voice we would use with a friend. When you can view what you are doing, how you look, your actions with patience, understanding, and loving energy, then that is self-compassion. What most people end up doing is comparing themselves to others and feeling inadequate. Comparison never gives us the full picture of anyone’s life.
Comparison can come in the form of career, body image, relationships, your home, your kids, or any other aspect of your life.
We can be our harshest critics, the things that we say to ourselves we wouldn’t dream of saying to others. Be honest about your self-talk what are the things you think or say to yourself daily. What do you say to yourself when you are looking in the mirror or comparing your life to others?
Do you work hard trying to prove your worth? Do you wait till you are done with your work to allow yourself to engage in self-care such as eating, resting, or the many other aspects of self-care?
What would happen if you showed yourself kindness, acknowledged you who you are, and didn’t have to justify self-care?
How can I improve my self-compassion?
The first step in improving self-compassion is to notice your level of self-compassion. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, if you compare and how you compare yourself to others and whether you withhold self-care unless you have “earned it.”
My recommendation is that you start tracking one of these at a time and work on each individually. Pick the one that is easiest for you to track, write it down, and after a week, take a good look at what is happening. If you need help with setting goals, here is a blog on increasing motivation that can help.
The next step would be to choose differently. How would you like to speak to yourself, compare, or take care of yourself? What would feel like you are worth the effort? Then start implementing this in your life. If you are working on your self-talk, maybe put up notes around your house with the new things you want to say. Write out how you want to talk to yourself in the morning or before going to bed at night. Take the time to shift your self-compassion.
Then notice how you feel. Do you feel calmer, more content, less critical, or irritable? Do you think just better? Keep at it; move to the next way you don’t show yourself compassion.
You are worth it!
How does self-compassion work?
Another vital part of self-compassion is your ability to see the things that you are good at, to focus on what you have accomplished, how you contribute every day to the world.
It is easy to try to look at the big things that we do and wait till we reach those goals to feel a sense of purpose. The reality is that you can feel purposeful every day. Every time you show yourself or someone else, some kindness, love, or generosity, you are contributing to the world.
Acknowledge what you do every day to contribute to the world
Your inherent strengths and who you are as a person is on purpose. If you believe in a higher power, than you can acknowledge that you were made this way on purpose. You are divinely created. With this energy, write out what makes you unique, what your strengths are, and your gratitude for those aspects of yourself.
As you look at what you already do and who you are, your self-compassion and self-esteem will improve.
We all have the ability to improve ourselves, the danger in focusing only on how we can be better is that we lose the focus on what we already have, and all that we are.
Focusing on what we do have is especially important as an empath. Since you can feel things at a deeper level, you can feel the negative self-talk or the comparison at a deep level. The good news is that you can also feel good things deeply. Don’t allow yourself to dim your light, acknowledge who you are and how you are created by the Divine on purpose. Your empathy contributes to the world in a way that others can’t. I see you and want to acknowledge that you are unique and amazing.
Improving your self-compassion may take some inner work. By looking at how you compare yourself to others, your self-talk, self-care, you as a Divine creation, and all that you accomplish, you can improve your self-compassion.
With improved self-compassion imagine how much better you could you feel every day? How would that impact your life?