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Why Big Goals are Stopping Your Success

Why Big Goals are Stopping Your Success

January 13, 2024

I’m Kavita
A Jungian Business and Success coach, a highly-sensitive woman and an empath. A mother of two beautiful boys, and a serial entrepreneur.
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Why Big Goals are Stopping Your Success

Title: The Pitfalls of Setting Big Goals: A New Approach to Achieving Success
Are you tired of setting grand New Year’s resolutions only to find yourself feeling discouraged and defeated by February? If so, you’re not alone. In a recent episode of the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast, master success and business coach Kavita Melwani shared powerful insights into why big, overarching goals can hinder rather than propel our success. Here’s a recap of the episode and a new approach to setting and achieving our goals.
Melwani starts by acknowledging the allure of setting ambitious resolutions and goals at the beginning of each year. Vision boards, card readings, and goal-setting exercises are all popular ways to set the tone for the year ahead. However, she warns that the pressure to completely overhaul our lives and achieve monumental changes can often lead to overwhelm and disappointment.
The Pitfalls of Big Goals
Melwani cautions against setting unattainable, outcome-based goals that are too sweeping and complex. She explains that the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve these goals can actually hinder our progress. Setting lofty goals without a clear plan and actionable steps can lead to frustration and a sense of failure when we inevitably fall short.
A New Approach: Focusing on Actionable Steps
Instead of setting grand, outcome-based goals, Melwani encourages listeners to focus on specific areas of improvement and choose three to focus on for the year. From there, she advises picking one area to start with and breaking it down into actionable steps. It’s about shifting the focus from the outcome to the steps needed to get there.
For example, if the goal is to be healthier, rather than fixating on losing a certain amount of weight, the focus shifts to actionable steps such as reaching a certain daily step count, monitoring portion sizes, or committing to regular workouts. By focusing on these specific steps and measuring progress, individuals can feel a sense of achievement and momentum, rather than discouragement.
Applying the Approach to Business Goals
Melwani extends this approach to business goals, emphasizing the importance of breaking down desired outcomes into actionable steps. Whether it’s generating more income, attracting more clients, or creating better work-life balance, the key is to focus on tangible actions that lead to these outcomes.
Seeking Support and Guidance
A crucial aspect of this new approach is the recognition that seeking support and guidance can greatly accelerate progress. Melwani shares a personal example of investing in a health and wellness coach, which ultimately led to more sustainable weight management. The same principle applies to business – seeking mentorship, coaching, or investing in courses can provide valuable insights and support on the journey towards achieving business goals.
In conclusion, Melwani advises against setting overwhelming, outcome-based goals and instead emphasizes the power of focusing on actionable steps, seeking support, and gradually making progress in specific areas. This practical and sustainable approach allows for consistent growth and a greater sense of accomplishment throughout the year.
If you resonate with this approach and feel that you could benefit from support in achieving your business goals, Melwani offers a complimentary session to discuss your needs and explore how working together could be a good fit.
As we approach the new year, let’s rethink the way we set and pursue our goals. By focusing on achievable steps, seeking support, and approaching our goals with intention and clarity, we can create meaningful and sustainable progress in both our personal and professional lives.
If this resonates with you and you’d like to delve deeper into this approach, tune in to the full episode on the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast. Wishing you a purposeful and successful year ahead!

Key Topics for This Episode: Why Big Goals are Stopping Your Success

Primary Topic: Setting Realistic Goals

  • The pressure of setting big, overarching goals
  • Breaking down areas of life that need improvement
  • Choosing three areas to focus on and starting with one
  • Identifying the steps needed to reach each goal
  • Setting goals based on actions and steps, not just outcomes
  • Avoiding setting massive, simultaneous goals
  • Seeking support, guidance, and knowledge
  • Investing in support and guidance to accelerate progress
    Primary Topic: Applying Goal-Setting to Business
  • Identifying business outcomes, such as generating more income or having more clients
  • Assessing current business activities and deciding on improvements
  • Focusing on attracting more clients rather than just doing more activities
  • Seeking support and guidance from mentors, advisors, courses, or books
  • Investing in support and guidance for business to accelerate progress
    Primary Topic: Personal Example of Investing in Support
  • Personal experience with weight management challenges
  • Hiring a coach for guidance and support
  • Learning and implementing new skills to maintain weight
  • Successful maintenance of weight due to invested support
  • Highlighting the value and benefits of investing in support
    Primary Topic: Invitation to Seek Support
  • Reiterating the importance of avoiding huge, outcome-based goals
  • Encouraging seeking support to avoid repeating the same goals
  • Offering a free session to explore working together for business improvement
    Primary Topic: Conclusion and Farewell
  • Wrapping up key points and recommendations
  • Encouraging self-care and taking care until next time
  • Inviting interested individuals to seek the free session on working together for business improvement

Analogy for This Episode: Why Big Goals are Stopping Your Success

Setting big, overwhelming goals for yourself is like trying to eat a whole cake in one bite. It’s messy, discouraging, and not very effective. Instead, think of your goals as slices of cake. Pick a few slices to focus on, and then take small, bite-sized pieces one at a time. It’s more satisfying, manageable, and allows you to truly enjoy the process of achieving your goals. And just like how a friend can help you cut and enjoy the cake, seeking support and guidance can make reaching your goals much more enjoyable and successful.

Transcript for This Episode

Kavita Melwani [00:08:26]:

Kavita Melwani [00:08:26]:
My name is Kavita Melwani and I’m a master certified success and business coach with two decades of experience as an entrepreneur and almost a decade as a coach. I want to personally welcome you to the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club podcast where my vision is to empower as many spiritually led businesses to run purposeful and profitable businesses aligned with their true selves. I want you to confidently and opulently shine your light without the overwhelm, the stress or the burnout. Together, we will explore challenges that soulful entrepreneurs face and real, implementable solutions so you can step into your unique purpose and shine. It is possible to bridge the success you already have with the truest, soulful.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:18]:
Mystical parts of yourself.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:20]:
Are you ready to rise up as the leader you were born to be? Then join me, my soulful friends. The time is now for you to rise up and shine your light.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:32]:
The world needs you.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:36]:
Hello and welcome to this week’s episode of the Soulful Entrepreneurs Club. And so this week I want to discuss about New Year’s resolutions and all the big goals that we set for the year. In last week’s episode, I talked about.

Kavita Melwani [00:09:54]:
How to create a vision for the year ahead. And I love planning and I love.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:01]:
Working on vision boards. I do a card reading for myself for the year. I pull a card for every day of the month. And those are all things to set the tone and energy for the year. And I also know that there’s a lot of pressure, especially during this time of year, to create a completely new life.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:29]:
And so people, a lot of us, will set goals and resolutions and this vision to create a complete overhaul of.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:40]:
All the areas of our life that.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:41]:
We would like to improve or maybe not working as well as we would like. And we expect to do that in the next year.

Kavita Melwani [00:10:50]:
And so what that happens with that is with these big, overarching goals and the pressure that we put on ourselves. That’s why often we don’t reach those goals. It’s too much, too soon, and there are too many steps that need to be taken. And when we make those big changes.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:09]:
Immediately, they often are not lasting.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:13]:
So instead of doing that, instead of.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:16]:
Making and setting these goals that feel somewhat unattainable and maybe some of the.

Kavita Melwani [00:11:23]:
Same goals that you set every year, it’s important to really be clear about what areas of your life that you would like to improve. Then choose three to focus on this year, and then choose one to begin with. And then be clear about what it would be like to reach that goal. Once you reach that goal, what would it look like? So if you want to be healthier, right? What would it look like to be healthier? Would it be for your clothes to fit better? Would it be to wake up feeling energetic?

Kavita Melwani [00:12:06]:
Would it be that you are moving more every day?

Kavita Melwani [00:12:12]:
What would it look like for you to be able to reach those goals? And once that’s clear, then you want to break that down into actual steps. And I’m going to encourage you to set the goals instead of the outcome, which is what we usually set. Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:29]:
So we say, well, the outcome that I want is to lose ten pounds. And I’m just going to say that because that’s a goal that a lot of people have.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:38]:
But instead of setting the goal based on the outcome, setting a goal based on the steps that you’re going to take.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:47]:
Okay, so once you’ve kind of broken.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:50]:
Things down, and let’s say you say.

Kavita Melwani [00:12:52]:
That I want to lose ten pounds, and you look at your actions of what you want to take, maybe it is to make up, you need to move more. So you want to reach a certain amount of steps a day, or is it that you want to control your portions and so maybe you want to.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:17]:
Try intermittent fasting or.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:19]:
I’m not a proponent of anything, really. I think that you have to pay.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:23]:
Attention to what works for your body. So whatever it is that you’re choosing as the steps that you believe will take you to reach your goal, that is what you focus on as your goal. So your goal is, I’m going to hit 10,000 steps a day. I know. I’ve read research recently that that’s not necessarily a magic number, but I’m just.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:50]:
Saying that as an example. Right. So let’s say your goal is, I’m.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:53]:
Going to reach 10,000 steps a day. So what you measure is reaching those.

Kavita Melwani [00:13:59]:
Steps instead of, I want to lose the weight. Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:03]:
And you can go back and check.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:04]:
On in a few. Like, let’s say you check in a month and you say, okay, I did.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:09]:
The steps a day. Is this helping me getting closer to the losing the weight?

Kavita Melwani [00:14:14]:
Right. The outcome that I want? Because just focusing on the outcome can be discouraging, because you can say, well.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:23]:
I’m not reaching my goal, I’m not getting there, but instead focusing on the steps that you’re taking and what you’re actually doing. So focusing on the action that you’re taking is more encouraging and actually will move you forward. And then my recommendation is that you do this in a tiered way. Okay. So, for instance, you start with the steps. If you want to be healthier, you start with the steps.

Kavita Melwani [00:14:54]:
And then once that is feeling better, then you say, okay, I’ve done this.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:01]:
For a few weeks, right?

Kavita Melwani [00:15:02]:
When it starts to feel like it’s a habit, some people say 21 days, some people say 40 days.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:07]:
I don’t know what it is for you. And then now I’m going to focus more on improving my food. And so I don’t want you to just say, improve your food completely. Maybe choose a meal, choose snacks. If you snack.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:22]:

Kavita Melwani [00:15:23]:
Choose not to snack. Whatever it is, that’s your next step. And so each day as you do this, at the end of the three months or six months, you are going to progress. You are going to get closer to your goals. Instead of saying, I’m going to be healthier. So no more snacking, no more carbs, intermittent fasting, 10,000 steps a day, workout, five days a week, all those things and trying to do all of it at the same time. And then I’m also going to do.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:54]:
These things in my life and I’m.

Kavita Melwani [00:15:57]:
Going to go on more vacations. So you start booking all the vacations and then all these things that you start don’t get finished. So these areas of your life. And so I used something that a lot of us have as goals is like better health, right.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:11]:
As an example.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:12]:
But I want to move this into your business. So as this entrepreneur, there are a.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:22]:
Lot of things that I’m sure that.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:24]:
You want to improve in your business. Okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:16:27]:
And a lot of times people come to me because.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:32]:
They want to generate more income, they want to have more clients, or they’re overwhelmed and they want to create systems so they can manage.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:39]:
Everything, or they want to not be.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:44]:
Working twenty four seven. Or even if they’re not working 24/7.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:48]:
What I often have experienced myself is thinking about things 24/7 even though I’m not actually working in my business.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:57]:
And then it feels like you’re working.

Kavita Melwani [00:16:59]:
All the time and it can be.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:00]:
All consuming, so you don’t want that anymore. And so those are some of the goals that people have when they come to me, okay?

Kavita Melwani [00:17:08]:
And they have these big goals of.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:12]:
Let’S say, generating more income. And so what usually people do, and.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:17]:
What I’ve done myself often is to.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:19]:
Just do more things, right? Let’s just add more. Whatever you’re doing, multiply that or add more things to do instead of looking at what you’re already doing and how to improve that, what do you enjoy assessing what you’re doing and making decisions from there.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:39]:
So when you’re making the setting goals.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:42]:
For your business, I want you to do something similar to the way I demonstrated for healthier, being healthier, break down the aspects of the business.

Kavita Melwani [00:17:54]:
What are the outcomes that you want in your business? What are the things that you would like to do, whether it’s working less hours, not thinking about your business as.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:03]:
Much, making more money, having more clients.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:07]:
Maybe working less, marketing in different ways.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:11]:
Whatever those things are, and then break.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:15]:
Down the steps that you need to.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:17]:
Take for that to happen.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:19]:
So if it is going to be.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:23]:
That you want to generate more income.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:25]:
Well, then we need to look at.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:27]:
Where is your income coming from right now.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:30]:
How can you attract more if you.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:33]:
Work with clients, more clients, and maybe replace some of the activities that you’re.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:40]:
Doing that you can let go of. Right. Instead of just adding on top and.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:46]:
Then taking steps in those directions, in that direction for the eventual outcome of attracting more clients. Now, in my experience, I can say.

Kavita Melwani [00:18:58]:
That sometimes I can do this on.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:00]:
My own and I can figure this out, but a lot of times I can’t. Or working with someone to help me.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:09]:
Figure out where I need to focus.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:12]:
Where I need to make changes just accelerates the process. Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:16]:
It’s not that I can to do it on myself.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:18]:
It’s just so much easier and faster.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:20]:
When I work with an aligned coach to help me with that mentor or advisor.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:25]:
And so then when you’re looking at these areas of your life and figuring.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:30]:
Out that maybe I need some support.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:32]:
With that, you can refer back to.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:35]:
The episode where I talked about how to decide where you need support in your business, where to invest in your business, and some of that is investing in the support. Okay. And I did talk about, in that episode about looking at different types of support. I mean, it could be an advisor.

Kavita Melwani [00:19:53]:
Mentor, coach, or it could be a course, or it could be a book, whatever that is.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:00]:
Right. I know that whenever I’ve invested in that, I’ve seen better results. So one of the things that I’ve done is that I often talk about.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:11]:
My business, but I’ll talk a little.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:13]:
Bit about my personal life in this moment. Right? So I have had a challenge with my weight my entire life, as far back as I can remember.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:24]:
And I’d lose the weight and then.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:25]:
I’d gain it back, and then I’d.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:27]:
Lose the weight and gain it back. And I’ve tried every single diet, probably not every single one, but almost every.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:34]:
Single diet out there, and nothing would last right. I decided to hire a coach that I followed for a long time.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:46]:
And so with this coach and her.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:48]:
Program, she taught me how to count.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:52]:
Macros, which I was like, when I heard about that, I was like, that’s too complicated.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:56]:
I don’t want to do that. Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:20:58]:
But she broke it down in a step by step way and I started to do it and start to figure.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:02]:
It out and it became just how I functioned. And then we worked on switching my workouts out. So I was lifting more weights instead of just doing cardio all the time.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:14]:
And it took a little while, and still I need some tweaks, right.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:19]:
So I work with health and wellness.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:23]:
Coaches on and off to help with that, but this is the first time in many years that I’ve been able.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:30]:
To maintain my weight for, I would.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:33]:
Say about three years now. Okay. And so because I learned the skills to do that through this coach, if.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:41]:
I had continued on my own, I don’t think I would be in that place right now.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:46]:
And so that investment was worth more.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:49]:
Than what, I mean, easily more than what I put in.

Kavita Melwani [00:21:53]:
But those type of things to improve your life, it’s completely worth it. Right.

Kavita Melwani [00:22:01]:
So that’s what I believe, and that’s just one example of how I’ve invested.

Kavita Melwani [00:22:05]:
In support and it’s benefited me. So I just want to recap and say, don’t set these huge, overarching goals for yourself and that are all outcome based because most likely a month or so from now, you’re going to feel some discouragement. Instead, think about the areas of your life that need improvement. Pick three areas to focus on this year and then pick one to start with, break down the steps that you believe you need to take to reach that outcome and take one step at a time and receive support, guidance, knowledge as you need, invest in those things and then you’re more likely to come to 2025 and feel like you’ve progressed and that you’re not repeating the same goals again and again and again. And if you feel like I could be a person to support you with your business so you could work less, have systems in place, generate income in your business, then we need to talk.

Kavita Melwani [00:23:19]:
I have a link to schedule a free session so that we can talk about where you are and what your.

Kavita Melwani [00:23:27]:
Needs are and if working together is a good fit. And I

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