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Developing Self-Compassion

What to do When you feel Lonely

September 6, 2018

I’m Kavita
A Jungian Business and Success coach, a highly-sensitive woman and an empath. A mother of two beautiful boys, and a serial entrepreneur.
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One of the biggest complaints that I hear from HSP’s/intuitive and heart-centered individuals is that they feel alone, isolated or that no one really understands them.

We have been trained over time, and based on our experiences, to hide our true selves. We have a deep seated fear that we won’t be understood and don’t want to be rejected our ostracized for being different. This fear comes as no surprise because it is a basic human need to belong or to feel a sense of belonging. Humans are social creatures and can’t live in an isolated bubble and HSP’s have the same needs. this need is so deep that solitary confinement or isolation is used as a form of punishment.

So how can we feel more connected to those around us? The answer is simple and complex at the same time. It is share your authentic self, share your heart.

When you are authentic, not everyone will like you, in fact, some will even dislike you, but the gift is that those that like you will truly connect with the real you. 

The key is that you don’t have to be authentic and wear your heart on your sleeve all the time, because that may be asking for trouble. Use your intuition as a guide to who you can share your true self and connect. You may not always be right but even if you make some mistakes, the effort will be worth it. You will not only feel more connected to others but also to yourself.

Why is it beneficial to feel connected? When we disconnect from others and ourselves it is out of fear. We fear being rejected, or don’t want to feel the pain. When you disconnect from the hard experiences you are also disconnecting from the great experiences that life has to offer. You are missing out on feeling everything. As a heart-centered person that is a sad loss for you and those around you.

Here are some steps for you to connect authentically:

  1. Connect with a friend 1:1. Choose someone that you feel like you want to get to know better. Text/email or call them to set up a time to meet. Choose coffee/tea, a walk or lunch. Before you meet them set the intention to ask about something specific in their lives, they will most likely ask you about your life. Be ready to share something authentic. When you are done, check in to how you feel.
  2. Express your Opinion. The next time that you are in a situation that a topic is being discussed that you care about, express your opinion. The people pleasing side of you may not want to or maybe even be afraid to speak your truth, resist that and speak your truth. Express your opinion using your empathetic strength to guide you on how to do so in a kind and authentic way. Again, check in to how you feel afterwards
  3. Set intentions. Before you are in a social situation, set the intention to connect with someone. When you enter with that goal/intention/energy you will be open to connect. Take a few moments and set the intention, then see how the social event is better.

If you are feeling lonely, know that it doesn’t have to be that way. There are strategies for you to reconnect with others and yourself. Being authentic allows true connection and the rewards are worth the risk.

I would love to hear from you, how did connecting authentically go? Did you feel more connected? Less alone?

If you need support in showing up authentically in your life, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute clarity session.

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